Often times, our children are the best at teaching us what is really important in life.
My daughter taught me something yesterday that I want to share with you.
I've posted about my struggle with perfectionism before and it has always been very real and crippling obstacle that I have had to work at everyday to overcome.
I was making my daughter a fabric doll for Easter and I made a minor flaw in the sewing process. Something I'm not sure most would be bugged by but I was so disappointed in myself over it, I wanted to scrap the entire doll and start over completely.
I told my husband how upset I was that I could make such a silly mistake like this and how I was worried that Miss E would not like the doll or that the flaw would annoy me everyday for as long as she played with it.
To some, this internal struggle I had during that moment may seem a little silly. If your a perfectionist however, you can understand this thinking.
My very wise husband told me that Miss E would love it no matter what and he took the doll and showed it to her saying: "E, would you like mommy to make you a doll like this one."
For some reason I was nervous for her reaction...
She hugged the doll tightly and said: "my dolly!" "I love this dolly, I love this dolly a lot!" She ran her fingers across every detail and complimented me lovingly on everyone. She noticed how pretty the flowers were on her headband. She noticed her pretty pink collar and the ribbons poking out of it. She never saw what I had seen in the doll- its flaws. She noticed how hard I worked on it. She cuddled it and cuddled it and I began to cry.
Maybe it was the pregnancy hormones but....
I think I had forgotten in the moment that I didn't need to attain perfection. That doing my best was enough.
Miss E never put any unnecessary expectations on me, I did. What she did do was help me gain a better perspective on what matters most and I am so thankful.
I hope you are having a very pleasant Tuesday and that you know how wonderful you are! Thank you for your sweet comments and love! :)
Love, Sierra
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4 comments:
Your story touched me and brought back memories of my own struggle with trying to be perfect. The Amish believe that only God can make something perfect. So, when they make a quilt, they purposely make a mistake, to not take away from God's perfection. Silly? Maybe. Profound? Definitely. As you grow older, I think you will find that your memories are not based on what was perfect, but on the moments that inperfection has etched into you life, like the wonder of a child at the beauty of an imperfectly perfect doll.
I'm smiling for you and your little girl, Sierra. Returning to a child's way of thinking can be a very beneficial thing for us adults, can't it? Take care and I love the new look here at Blue Robin Cottage!
Take care,
Erin
Carolina Country Living
LOve that fabric! Where did you get it?
Love the comment from sharrilou above. The message is incredibly grounding -- Amish or not, believer or not.
I can relate completely to your inner struggle, being a perfectionist myself. For me personally, I've always felt this need to be perfect for other people. But the truth is that perfection is not possible -- and that is more than okay. When I find myself being over critical of something I've sewn, quilted, made, said or done, I have to step back and ask myself, "Why is it not okay for me to make mistakes?"
And the answer is always, "It IS okay to make mistakes. It IS okay to not be perfect. It IS okay to be human." After all, that is what I am.
That and the ol' SNL Stuart Smalley quote always help me shift my attitude: "Im good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!"
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