I'm a perfectionist.
These days, Its a very common word to throw out there, along with OCD but I struggle with perfectionism on a daily basis. Sometimes it inhibits me from finishing projects because I am so overwhelmed by the thought that they will never be "good enough" in my eyes. Sometimes my perfectionism inhibits me from doing daily activities because of the intense anxiety I feel. The overwhelming feeling of "not being perfect" exhausts me from day to day. If my sewing isn't perfect, I will rip the stitches out. If my idea isn't executed the way I first saw the inspiration in my mind, I start over. Its frustrating, tiresome and overwhelming. I often hear the words: "you don't need to be perfect." The comforting words of wisdom from those around me make sense in my brain but I'm not able to turn off the behavior. I wish I could but I am trying. Each day I am trying to learn how to change my way of thinking about perfectionism. I try not to be so hard on myself. I try to remember that mistakes are ok and that they are part of our growth and learning. I try to remember that vulnerability isn't a weakness, its a way of identifying with each other as human being to human being.
Why am I sharing this with you?
Because I know there are other women struggling with this very issue in their lives and because part of changing the cycle of perfectionism for me has been understanding that I am not perfect by truly believing those words... and knowing in my heart that when I admit them, it doesn't make me any less of a person.
So I am happy to tell you that I am not perfect.
My sewing isn't perfect
My Embroidery isn't perfect
My painting isn't perfect
My baking isn't perfect
My cooking is really not perfect
My blogging isn't perfect
and I'm ok with that...